Dirty Peaches and the Nasty Princess
by pmcgovols
Summary: Dirty Peaches tries to defeat the nasty princess who fired her from her job, and threw her out a window.


Dirty Peaches and the Nasty Princess

By Mitchell Coward

Published by Coward Inc.

Once upon a time, there was a maid called Dirty Peaches. She wasn't just any maid, she was the princess's maid. Dirty wasn't the best maid, but she tried as hard as she could. One day Dirty Peaches was cleaning the princess's bed room, and she was doing pretty good. When the princess came into the bedroom, she looked pretty surprised. "It looks good", she said. "Wait!" She started to inspect the bedroom. When she looked under the dresser she found a spot that wasn't clean. "Dirty!", she screamed. "You're fired!" She then picked Dirty up and threw her out the window. She landed on her butt with a crash. "What am I going to do now?" said Dirty. Dirty Peaches slowly started to walk to her home, but when she got there it was gone. "Excuse me, but what happened to the house that used to be here", Dirty said to a lady that was walking by. "There used to be a house here", said the woman. "I saw the house get destroyed earlier, by the princess's guards", said a man who was standing next to Dirty. "Oh no", Dirty said to herself. A couple of days later Dirty found a job as a waitress in a little restaurant in the middle of the town. She was by far the best worker at the restaurant, but one day Mr. Coops, Dirty's boss, had a problem. "Dirty, can I speak to you for a minute?" Mr. Coops asked Dirty. "Sure," said Dirty. Mr. Coops took Dirty to his office. "The princess stated yesterday that I have to fire you from your job, or they will shut down my restaurant." said Mr. Coops. "But, I can't. I thought I could let you work here, secretly. Would you be willing to clean the cellar for me?" "Sure!" said Dirty. "But, one thing. It would include fighting off the radioactive rats, spiders, and other strange specimens down there," said Mr. Coops. "WHAT!" yelled Dirty. "YOU WANT ME TO FIGHT RADIOACTIVE BUGS IN THE CELLAR!" "Yes," said Mr. Coops, quietly. "Never!" shouted Dirty. "Please, Dirty," said Mr. Coops. "I need someone down there." "I guess I could give it a try," said Dirty. "Great!" said Mr. Coops, happily. "You'll start tomorrow. Goodnight, Dirty." The next morning when Dirty came to work, Mr. Coops handed her a broom and a wooden shield. "You'll need these," he said. She than slowly walked down the old staircase to the wooden door. She opened it up slowly and walked in the dark cellar. Immediately when she walked in several glowing rats ran toward her. She swung at them with the broom and hit them with the shield. She realized she was already a professional at her job. She started to travel deeper in the cellar. As she went farther in, the radioactive animals became bigger. When she realized she had done enough for the day, she headed back for the restaurant. When she came back up she was immediately greeted by Mr. Coops. "How did it go?" he asked. "Great!" said Dirty. "Can't wait until tomorrow!" A few months went by and Dirty continued to do her thing. But one day Dirty went to ask Mr. Coops a question. " I want to get revenge on the Princess," she said", and I need you're help." "Sure!" he said. "I need my revenge on her too." Over the next few days they secretly gathered some people who also wanted revenge on the Princess. One day Dirty decided to have a meeting about what they would do to her. "Thank you all for coming," she said to the audience. "I have summoned you all here to plan what we will do to the Princess." "I think we should feed her to the lions!" shouted one man in the audience. "Or maybe we can sell her to pirates!" shouted another. "QUIET!" yelled Dirty. "We're not going to feed her to the lions or sell her to pirates! This is my plan. We go in and trash the castle and give the Princess a taste of her own medicine!" The crowd started shouting with joy and clapping. The next morning they began their plan. "When I count to 3 we storm the castle," whispered Dirty. " 1, 2, 3 CHARGE!" The group of people ran toward the castle. They kicked open the door and ran in. The guards immediately grabbed their weapons and started to defend the castle. Dirty went with a small group to the Princess's room. They found her hiding under a table. "Remember me?" asked Dirty. The Princess nodded her head. Dirty picked her up from beneath the table and threw her out the window. The Princess landed in a big pile of mud. "EWWWWWWWWWWWW!" she yelled. Dirty Peaches left the castle a few minutes later and went to the restaurant. "Good job, Dirty," said Mr. Coops. "I think she learned her lesson" said Dirty. The two started to laugh.


End file.
